Crimson Bisque

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Oh man.. haven't blogged in AGES.. i know... dunno.. just haven't felt like blogging... hmmi seem to recall a tagger commenting that i should not feel obliged to blog.. that's true i must say... but i do enjoy blogging.. it's just that i haven't had a chance to flex my blogging muscles lately...

anyway... what's been happening... loads actually.. in a no time to breathe (but still have time to sleep like a pig) kinda way :)

sunday:

"church today was certainly interesting... aaron seemed pleased when they announced ol' Peter White will be coming back to preach soon.. i cant' believe it's been 3 months already!

anyway.. our Pastor coming back aside.. we had the church's old pastor come and preach in place of Rev White today... and he certainly was an interesting man!

i must say that i don't have very good impressions of old preachers.. prejudiced i know.. but they do tend to go on a bit.. and well.. so did this pastor to be fair.. and well.. i sometimes didn't quite know the point of the sermon...

all that aside.. i could tell he was a man really fired up for God.. God's love still amazed, encouraged and empowered him after so long.. it could be seen from his words.. his gestures.. i was amazed.. and wished i had even a portion of his... wealth! yes wealth.. to be rich in the knowledge that God loves and forgives us no matter what we do... yes that is wealth.. for so often we fall into the trap of letting guilt linger esp after you seemed to have confessed it... sigh...

several interesting points he brought up during the sermon...

well i dunno if you've heard the story abt the sunday school teacher asking a young boy... are you afraid of satan and his temptations (btw.. wasn't satan a fallen angel and hence equally as androgynous/asexual as the rest of the angels?!)?

the boy replied.. no ma'am..

the teacher was shocked... and she repeated the question.. again getting a negative reply...

when she asked why the young boy said.. when satan's temptations come knocking at my door.. i just send jesus to answer the door....

how simply profound! it's something along the lines of WWJD (What Would Jesus Do.. for the uninitiated) but i think helpful in a more practical way.. if i just send jesus to the door.. then i have faith and confidence that i can deal with my temptation.. i need not fear... need not be angry.. need not hate.. for the Lord will take care of all things....

another thing he mentioned was that we should be content with what we have.. no matter how crap our situation is.. to remember what we have.. and be grateful.. i really felt God was speaking to me then...

why? cos well.. a few weeks back i told myself that i would ask God for less and thank Him for more things in my life.... why? cos for one God knows your every NEED (not desire... though this isn't an excuse for not asking God things.. sometimes i feel an outward confession of a desire/need to God is healthy.. plus God never tires of hearing about you and your life!:)) and well... i think my very LONG bout of moodiness can generally be attributed to low self esteem... somehow by thanking God for all the things He has blessed me with... or at least placing more emphasis thanking Him vs always asking for help... really helps boost my self esteem in a way...

I am blessed... and honoured that He even would concern himself with a sinful life such as mine... and i should be proud of the fact that Jesus is in my life... i should not let self pity take over.. why should i? God is with me!

does that make sense? low self esteem is self perpetuating... plus if you believe you are prone to self esteem.. you're more likely to bring it on yourself... and TRUST me.. i know i'm capable of that... of putting myself into a bad mood.. it can hardly be considered healthy...

that doesn't mean that i will stop asking God for help or anything.. it is only with His strength and by His grace that i am alive on this earth today.. and to continually seek His strength, protection, guidance.. is only fitting for me...

God is also the El Shaddai (all sufficient God).With Him we have no need for anything... we should not worry or be fearful.. for He will provide in the way He seems fit..

this is quite a turn around from Christmas... it was so bad when my family left.. i was really down and out.. and to those of you who i've confided in... you know how down i got.. how everything seemed to fall apart.. and to those i've offended with my moodiness (esp ard the festive season)...i sincerely apologise..

i can't turn back time and make our company together better i know.. i'm so sorry.

i know.. words can't erase bad memories... sigh...

hope things will be looking up from now!"

monday:

"die die die... presentation tmr.. and i haven't done the presentation at all.. so aaron and i spent the whole evening rushing the presentation... found some funky pics... you'll get to see them as my MSN pics... stock exchange really has gorgeous pics! with luck.. God's grace.. and of course a bit of rehearsal... everything should go well!:)"

tuesday:

"Praise God! the presentation went better than expected.. in fact.. i felt it went quite well indeed... ok we didn't have a lot of charts or anatomy diagrams and stuff.. but hey.. i thought it went well!:)

went to town to catch Kinsey today.. quite an interesting movie... i thought it was a very objective biopic.. i mean one could see why some pple thought he was outrageous... esp his study methods... but at the same time you could see his passion for the subject.. in the pure interest of science.. or so it seems... i thought liam neeson did a supreb job as kinsey.. and i can't believe Chris O'Donnel was in the movie... haha... ok one up for him for being in the movie haha...

tried to revalidate ticket but failed.. the office just happened to be closed for a conference that day...."

wednesday:

"have started planning for italy trip... flights and such are such a hassle! just planning the flight routes and such and really do your head in....and this is just the overall flights... comparing airline fares... trying to decide which direction to fly in?! it's INSANE... sian...

but well we have the main route planned out now.. it'll be venice-florence-rome... inbetween we will be checking exam results online.. so hopefully we can secure hostels with free internet access and free towels heehee.. otherwise we have to pack so much!

have started planning the itinery for venice.. so i'll know how many days we have to stay there...

ARGH.. planning is such a chore.. but hopefully that'll maketh a good and memorable trip!"

thursday:

"yet another day of planning and this time.. managed to get the train times btwn areas out.. and managed to plan florence as well.. itinery and accomodation

*phew* anyway... i now know how many days we will spend in each place.. and the accomodation for venice at least.. has been agreed on.. better book soon.. cos it seems like time is running out.. and places are being snapped up quite fast!"

friday:

"went into uni to get my coursework grade and my new timetable for next year.. then we headed to subway for lunch.. they have a student deal for sandwich, cookie, and drink.. plus... i think eating light is the way to go considering how we've been eating lately! with niko in town esp! haha... brought him to wetherspoons to eat haggis and to mussel inn! lovely food!:)

then headed to town to catch constantine.. aaron can rave abt this for AGES haha.. but yes i thought it was a pretty good movie with a decent storyline that explored certain Catholic beliefs...

kinda makes you think... do you do things to buy your way into heaven? i hope not.. and i certainly hope i don't do it.. it says in the Bible that we are saved by grace and not by works... tis true... i've always found it true.. for my works are not worthy of the salvation i have found in Christ......"

saturday aka today (YAY! we're finally all updated.. more or less):

"went to loch lomond for a cell group excursion! with ash our dad declaring at the lunch table that he has 12 patients (aka us haha... oh yes.. ash is a pediatric psychiatrist.. and well.. we act like we have the mental age of 5 sometimes..."

met bev's friend from RG... weisin... she was really sweet and was really interesting to talk to... and the statement of the day goes to her....

'the luxuries of the past generations have become necessities for the present' (this when talking abt pagers and hps and how even pri sch kids have hps nowadays.. all this when reminiscing about how cheap everything was back in the day... like canteen food and such.. haha...)

it was wonderful getting out of glasgow and taking in some scenery.. ok so i'm not a very scenery kinda person... but it was calming... plus i saw sheep on the way... and yes nev.. all those sheep you drew for me.. in the flesh!:) haha... sheep are my fav animal in case you didn't know.. but erm... my fav red meat is lamb.. hee....

then we sat around and talked about Cell Group (CG) for a bit.. and how the CG has grown and how we have grown personally.. i must admit at the time i felt i hadn't grown much... and well.. just writing about my experience last sunday in church.. i think i have.. i've grown to know more about God... although this didn't come with more struggles... overall.. God's been there with me through it all.. hmm.. in fact just typing it out now has brought it out of my sub conscious... and made me more aware of it..."

phew that was a long rant! to those of you who persevered.. thank you! i appreciate it!:)

Inscribed @ 2:50 am