and the truth is that right now i feel like a shallow, vain, selfish, ungrateful bitch who brings nothign but misery to those around me.
i've been an horrid spoilt child for the past few days...
i should be grateful that my mum got me a job.. but what do i do? protest when i get pushed ard.. i suppose temps are MEANT to be pushed ard... ordered to go places.. and later told i am to do things i'm not supposed to do...
i guess i'm not a significant contribution to the company... so i shouldn't be such a bitch and cry abt rights that don't belong to me. that's just it isn't it. it's blatantly obvious that i don't belong.
not here at home. not there at work.
i appreciate what pple have gone through to get me to where i am. but what do i do.. call in last minute to say i'm not coming to work. i guess i disappointed many.. and though at times i feel like it's not really that wrong... my parents come ard and say, 'i think you should go back to work tmr.. no one likes it if a temp takes so much leave' i should not be angry at them cos they don't know how pathetic i am.. maybe it's best that they don't.. cos if they do.. they'll just be more paranoid and protective... or send me to a shrink...and think me incompetant... maybe i AM incompetant... unable to sort out her own life at home or at work... maybe i am incompetant.
incompetant to handle feelings and emotions.. all these mood swings are killing me... i wish i wasn't so sensitive yet so senseless at the same time... hanting's right... 'sir yes sir' does kill you.. even if it's not said out.... but heck.. i have NO RIGHT to feel this way.. no right AT ALL... so what if pple order me ard... i'm nothing to them... nor SHOULD i be anyTHING to them.. i should just go where i'm needed and shut up abt it...
i. am. a. horrid. bitch. no question abt it.
Inscribed @ 4:08 pm
-raison d'être-
Crimson Bisque
Seconded by her friends
Hooked after a few blogs
Doomed to express herself
every now and then
Crimson: red
Bisque: White unglazed porcelein
Crimson bisque:
A little rough around the edges,
rather fragile and stained red by the
change Jesus death and his blood
has brought about in my life
