Crimson Bisque

Monday, August 18, 2003

darn it i'm so so tired today... very very busy day i had... looks like the start to a very very busy week..... i reckon sending karen off has put a sense of urgency in me...

let's see... went to see medical books (SO HEAVY!! how on earth am i going to lug all that over and NOT exceed the luggage limit?!)
went driving... note to self... don't drive so FAST!!! sheesh i'm so out of whack today... resolve NEVER to be late again for anything... MUST GET SENSE OF URGENCY BACK!!! I'm going back to school for crying out loud...

i find myself in a rather self-deprecating mode today.. dunno why? is it my way of dealing with karen's departure... she always has (not had... it's not like she's gone forever or something... i'll see her soon.... well assuming next summer comes really really soon) a way of making pple smile and believe in themselves.. this isn't a darn eulogy... sheesh! *rolls eyes at myself* but yeah... karen if you're reading this... we REALLY REALLY miss you back here!:P

Twas bittersweet sending Karen off yesterday...

Bitter cos well she's leaving us! Sweet cos I know we'll always have the sweet memories of our time together... and sweet cos we managed to have a farewell dinner the night before she flew and breakfast at the airport... hence well i believe i've said all i've needed to say to her before she left... we had the luxury of saying goodbye... something i'll always cherish considering what had happened to my junior.... sigh... pretty sad stuff man... oh well.... soon it'll be my turn....

which leads to another rant... there are SO many things left undone i think....

medical books for one... well that's gonna be settled by dad tmr i hope... HOPE... must have HOPE that my week won't be that bad... i must make the week work for me... *determined look*

then there's my laptop which my dad says he'll deal with this weekend... so yes fingers are crossed... wondering if i can get any student discounts from nus or smu pple...... hmmm.... should i crash nus lectures as well? hmmmm... gosh man haha....

then my bank account... have to figure out the interest rates and see if it's more feasible to dump a whole lot money into the bank and feed off the interest during my stay in glasgow... i suppose the more money in the account the more interest!:P well one HOPES.....:P *note to self: don't DARE spend an unnecessary cent... you're not living in singapore no more*

my medical checkup... gosh looks like i have to take more jabs to keep me immune to meningitis c and whatever other life perils are out there (is there a jab for tardiness? i really hate myself now...)

handphone rates... seniors say it's cheaper to buy a line over the net and the line comes with the phone... and that i should get a proper line since i don't have a phone in my room... (actually i don't have more than a phone... i don't have internet.... i don't have a sink or an en-suite bathroom....nor do i have window latches that i can sit on... another funny story i shall share later.... oh joy... at least SOMETHING in my life is funny)

anyhow after driving i went to get water proof bags... erm like a bag pack.... (i know you're going to kill me ningsi but i bought the blue version of your converse bag cos the high sierra one while good... was darn heavy to lug ard BY ITSELF!!!!).. and a large carry bag... cos as you pple probably know i carry lots and lots of things ard with me when i go out... hmm.... RESOLVE TO LEARN HOW TO PACK LIGHT!!!!

had VERY VERY nice dinner at the Fullerton Singapore!!! the food there is ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC... haha... ok then it's nice to have high class food with family... yes was having dinner with uncle and family from hong kong... it was nice to chit chat and catch up... since i won't be seeing them before i leave!

Yawn... then i come home to find so many things undone.....

oh yeah and it REALLY bugs me that i failed my driving test... i'm such a monumental idiot you know.... u-turned at the wrong plce... *groan* going for lessons now I suppose is a very humbling thing.... cos i recall the verse "in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight" Proverbs 3:6 (NIV) I drifted from Him... didn't make Him number one in my life... like He gave me direction in life and i was the ungrateful brat that put Him aside once I got direction from Him.... really hope I stay with God during my years in glasgow.... SIGH...

well like i said... from my council days... i've learnt that we should just let the past be that... the past... and there's nothing we can do to change things... we can just learn from the wrong... take pride in the right... and move on with life....

another thing i've learnt is not to sweat the small stuff... if i organise everything i believe it'll all be ok.... but like i told kow (oh yes i met him today too! he FINALLY returned me my vcds... another story for later) after lounging ard and NOT studying... i can't seem to concentrate much... i've become extremely scatter-brained and am generally a disorganised loser... but hey... i'm determined to put these days to past... i'm reading a lot more now... and seem to be getting better at reading (what could she possibly mean you ask?) well I couldn't read very much at one time for quite some time, i.e. i read for a few minutes then i get distracted and start doing something else... but now as i read more and more... i realise that I can read for longer periods of time now and block all else out... that's progress right? well i HOPE so...

Likewise.. i'm determined to put my distance from God in my past... i will strive to ask Him for His opinion more often!!:P

I must FOCUS... can't afford to be irresponsible anymore (yes dear mum, i actually admit that i can be an irresponsible brat sometimes... but when you said that me and marc don't do anything you tell us and we tell you we've forgotten.. perhaps it is unconscious rebellion... that we don't mean to forget... but cos we're rebellious we "forget"? hmm.....but that still doesn't make me a good daughter... must work on that too...i don't have much time left with them....) this HAS to be a turning point in my life... or i really dunno how i'm going to pull up my socks in time for glasgow.... where i'll be on my own.

Sigh... the self-hating, distant from God, irresponsible daughter persona has GOT to be in the past.... it WILL be in the past...

driving tmr at 8:50 at night... i MUST get my licence this time round....

OK then... the funny story... well of all the hall rules (hall as in hall of residence) i find this one the most amusing, i quote: "Windows and Stonework: In view of the fact that the stonework is old and crumbling all residents are advised not to sit on windowsills and to avoid standing on the ledges)

FYI... i'm living in the castle part of the Glasgow uni... hence the stonework.... which is might i add really really old... but hey it's a very central place close to the med sch, the library, the shops and banks... all in all.... the location is what makes it good... not the facilities... but hey at least i won't spend excessive amts of money to upkeep the landline (phone) and i won't surf the net when i should be studying right?:P

ok then the kow story... i was actually quite pissed for a while cos he didn't return me my vcds... but when i met up with him... and he apologised.. the VERY little flame of anger was squished! haha... yes well you can't stay angry at your friends forever can you... had a good catch up chat with kow... resolve to meet up with all friends before they leave! well at least kow is flying after me haha... oh well....:P

wow that certainly was quite a bit of blogging... in such a short time frame too!:P haha... oh well... ningsi aren't you proud!:P

Inscribed @ 5:01 pm